Hello, my name is John Citizen, and I am a conservative. Of course this means that I am inherently an evil profit driven capitalist who will step on the little guy just to make a quick dollar (sometimes not even for a dollar, but just because it brings joy to my black heart...). In my spare time I plot the downfall of the world with colleagues over a brandy in the parlour room, reclining back in my sumptuous leather chair by a roaring fire fuelled by endangered animals and the toys of poor refugee children... by the way, the brandy tastes so much better when mixed with the tears of the aforementioned children...
This may come as a shock to you left-wing hippies but the above was actually satire. Shocking, to be sure, a conservative who is making a satirical comment as opposed to being the subject of one. What you will undoubtedly find even more confronting is that I do not look even remotely like the Monopoly Man AND I do not hate freedom or adorable puppies. Unbelievable but true. I am a proud conservative who is under 100 years old (unlike the stereotypical evil capitalist puppet master) and, before you ask, no, I do not own a monocle or get free parking... damn you Pennybags! Share that sweet free parking with the rest of us!
So what is the point of this blog? Simple, really: offer an alternative view to the prevailing nonsense served up daily by the liberal media. For the most part the voice of the young, grassroots conservative activist is overlooked and silenced by the insistent protest chanting from the Greenie agitator plebs who obviously do not understand what the word ‘employment’ means. To their credit, though, they do appear to have an intimate working knowledge of the Centrelink system... So here I am, a conservative with a jewel encrusted axe to grind...
No comments:
Post a Comment