Zombie John Curtin ate my BRAIN!

The focus this week has been firmly on the Prime Minister and, more specifically, her career prospects which at the moment do not look so good. Record low polling to the point that Fiji's military dictator is more popular than Gillard (hope that doesn't give her any ideas...), the continuation of the Thomson Affair, and, of course, the asylum debate were all in the news, none of it favourable for Gillard and Co. For the government things are just getting worse and worse, which shows that this is a government which hasn't just lost its way, but fallen entirely off the grid!

What made me laugh the most this week was Bob Brown's little rant on 7:30 where he outlined the Greens' policy. Without going into too much detail Bob basically stated that he wanted to open the boarders to any Tom, Dick or Mohammad who could jump on a leaky boat and point it in Christmas Island's direction. What I found the most shocking was, according to Bob, the majority of Australia's actually support this move! I don't know who Bob's chatting with but everyone I speak to on the matter thinks we need to reinstate the Howard Pacific Solution, quick smart! We have all seen what has happened in Europe, most notably the UK; is that really the path we want to go down? I suggest that most logical, sensible people in the community (i.e. those who don't talk to Brown...) would disagree with your suggestion that yours is the popular viewpoint, Bob... Brown, nevertheless, continued on further stating that "we [the Greens] are simply setting policy for Australia"; I think that pretty much sums up the relationship between Brown and Deputy-PM Gillard... don't you think?


Far out man... stop harshing my mellow...

Here's some stats that Senator Brown might like to consider before opening his mouth again:
2002 - 2007: 288 people come to Australia by boat
Post 2007: 11,600 people come by boat
Yea, scrapping the Pacific Solution was a brilliant idea! Thanks Rudd, dismantling Howard's effective boarder security policy is obviously what the majority of Australians wanted; I know it is what the people smugglers were hoping for...

This has been a long, busy, drawn out week and now, finally - FINALLY! - it is Friday, so it is time for a little light hearted silliness... The results from this week's Right Side Poll are in, and it looks as though the Faceless Men should be turning to the ALP Witch Doctors (not to be confused with their Spin Doctors...) to reanimate Australia's war time Prime Minister. Our 14th PM polled the highest, with 67% of the vote going to Zombie John Curtin. Simon Crean was the only other suggestion to receive any votes, with 33%. This is not difficult to believe, after all a zombie would still have more personality than Crean... There was a lot of discussion when Julia got the top job around whether Australia was 'ready' for a female leader. The question now is are we ready for a zombie in the top job? Read the full story...

For this week's Right Side Poll I am interest to know what you think about Industrial Relations; should Tony Abbott and the Coalition being looking to roll back the ALP's FairWork Australia and return to individual contracts? Let me know what you think... Of course, it's Friday, and where would we be without some laughs and perhaps a drink or two (just remember not to overdo it...)? I have included below a clip which, I imagine, is probably what Bob Brown dreams of at night... Oh, and just a warning, there is course language; it is incredibly funny though...

Once again thanks to all who have taken the time to vote on the Right Side Poll and who have dropped in over the week. Don't forget to check out our new Facebook page and tell us what you think of the website. Your feedback is very much appreciated, so please keep sending it through! I hope that you all have an amazing weekend and I look forward to seeing you back here next week...

BREAKING NEWS: JULIA CURTAINS, ZOMBIE NUDGES OUT CREAN FOR TOP JOB

In another astonishing move the ALP's Faceless Men has toppled their 2nd first term PM in just over a year. What is more shocking is who will replace Julia Gillard in the top job. Early reports suggested that Simon Crean and Kevin Rudd were the front runners, but Labor's caucus has selected none other than war time leader John Curtin's reanimated corpse.

"Well we went with Curtin's corpse simply because we felt that the electorate would identify with it more than the less human Kevin... plus it is far more interesting the Crean," Faceless Man Paul Howes stated. "The change shouldn't shock the electorate too much, we have simply moved from one dead PM walking to another, it is just that Curtin isn't so on the nose with voters... unless of course they get close to him..."

There were initial concerns about Mr Curtin's eligibility to ascend to the position of PM, given the notable handicap of not being a current sitting member of Parliament. This was swiftly resolved in the party room, with Zombie Curtin devouring Craig Thomson and thereby taking his seat (as is outlined in the constitution). Devouring Thomson and taking his seat resolved both the Thomson Affair and allowed Curtin to run for the party leadership unopposed.


Is Australia ready for its first reanimated PM?

The move seems to be working with voters, with Curtin's approval rating running through the roof. "Well I would vote for Curtin," one voter told us, "The ALP's brain dead policies make more sense now that they have an [openly] brain dead leader..."

Zombie Curtin's inaugural speech left some confused, but was generally well received (far more so than Gillard's 'Moving Forward' monstrosity...). Here is a short extract:

"Brains... BRAINS!... Government lost its way... NO BRAINS! We need BRAINS to move nation forward... invest in education... support those juicy brains..."

Sensing that the tide was moving against them, the Federal Coalition has moved quickly to depose Tony Abbott and install the only Liberal leader who cannot fail. Elected unopposed after travelling back in time to save Australia, Cyborg John Howard will contest the next election... I knew he'd be back...!

Gillard rushing home... but why?

Well, it could be that our [soon to be Former] Prime Minister has just had enough of New Zealand, which is entirely understandable (I joke, of course; the countryside is just spectacular... the people, on the other hand...). Perhaps Gillard is heading home early to congratulate Swan on the economy (that would be a short discussion...) or maybe Tim found himself unable to open a particularly stubborn pickle jar. Fanciful scenarios, to be sure, as the likely truth is that the rumblings in the Labor Party are coming to a head... more precisely the Labor Party is coming after Julia's head...

Could it be that Gillard has cut short her NZ trip because her sycophant lapdog Swan has over heard that a leadership spill is imminent, and quickly jumped on the phone, pleading his Dear Leader to hurry back? "Come home Julia... the Faceless Men are getting restless!" With even the most devote ALP supporters and former power brokers beginning to lose the faith, it is only a matter of time. I suggested late last week that Gillard would be lucky to see the end of the month but maybe she won't see the end of this week?


Rushing back to stop Rudd the Revolutionary...?

For the most part I am an optimist; I always try and see the best, regardless of the situation. That is why I have my fingers crossed, and hope that the ALP sees sense and does the right thing: dump Gillard and give the Australian people their democratic right to vote. Our country is suffering needlessly and we need an election now!

The New World Order is coming... unless we stand-up for Democracy

I love my country; I'm a freedom loving conservative and damn proud of it. This is the greatest country in the world, a land of prosperity and opportunity... or at least it was. For you see, my friends, our great nation is dying, being bled dry by the parasitic Left who leech our nation's wealth, it's hopes, it's dreams, and, more importantly, robbing the next generation of opportunity and that quintessential Australian notion of 'the fair go'. The child should not suffer for the sins of the father, and nor should the next generation of Australians suffer the burden of the unsustainable debt-binge that is legacy of the Labor Party. The needless cycle of economic self-harm; spend-debt-tax, repeat...

The current Labor government is surpassing the incompetence of previous ALP administrations, which is no easy feat. This has come about, of course, courtesy of the Labor-Green alliance, one which is pushing our great democracy further and further to the Left. The Carbon Tax has nothing to do with stopping emissions, it is a program of wealth re-distribution. Take the hard earned money from those who worked to build a better life for themselves and give it to those who cannot be bothered to get an education, get a job, and work for their income. Why work when you can live in Brown's socialist paradise, where there is no drive, no innovation, no incentive for self-improvement, just cash handouts and drum circles?

What scares me the most is that Brown and his band of revolutionaries don't want to stop there - oh no! - they have their eyes set on a much larger goal. The Left are trying to bring the West down from within. Unable to provide an alternative model to Capitalism (well, at least one that works...) the Left have decided that if you can't beat them, join them... and destroy them from within. Over a decade of the 'New Labour' experiment in Britain has seen their once great society crumble to the level of petty thuggery and violence on a once unimaginable scale. Obama has set out to completely destroy the US economy in a single term. The ALP and their Green allies have their eyes set on completely obliterating Australia's prosperity and dismantling our social system by opening the door to any Tom, Dick or Mohammad who can get on a leaky boat pointed in Christmas Island's direction! The destruction of the West so that their New World Order may finally become a reality...

For those of you who think that I am over-exaggerating, I suggest that you look at the evidence. Bob Brown has made no secret of the fact that he wants to see a global government. Brown, in his back-room deals to get Gillard to support his Carbon Tax policy, has secured funding to help see this Global Government become a reality. Of the revenue collected by the Carbon Tax, 10% will be redirected to the United Nations. What agenda is the UN pushing? Why it wants resource use decoupled from economic growth and for the wealth of the West funnelled to the Third World. Wait a minute, this sounds familiar... Oh, that's right, this is just Brown's wealth redistribution program but on a global scale, one that we will be helping to fund through the Carbon Tax. And Australia's Left are not the only ones pushing for this perverse global Green government, with Germany already become one of the first 'Green Dictatorships'.

It seems as though the old Communist model is simply being rehashed, rebranded, and sold with a brand new coat of Green paint. While we cannot change the course of other nations, we do control the destiny of our own. Unlike socialist revolution that use guns, bloodshed and fear, we will use our freedom of speech, our sense of justice and, the most important weapon of all, our democratic right to vote. Use your vote wisely at the next election; if the nation chooses to continue down this slippery slope of socialist experimentation, it very well may be the last time we get to vote at a free election...

Julia Gillard: Lame Duck PM?

So it has come to this, a Newspoll so abysmally bad that it would make even the most annoyingly optimistic politician cringe. Julia Gillard's personal support has fallen to an embarrassingly low 23%. That means you would struggle to find one in five people who think that the leader of this great nation is doing a good job. The truly humiliating aspect of this is that this Newspoll is the sixth in a row where Tony Abbott has led the Prime Minister in the preferred PM stakes. That says more about Gillard than it does about Abbott, a man that even I struggle to support some days (don't get me wrong, I like Tony, it's just that he doesn't always make it easy...). Tony has jumped to 43%, his highest rating ever. Mr Abbott, in the off chance that you read this, keep up the good work and for God's sake keep your mouth shut!


Looks like the electorate is finally warming to the future Prime Minister...

While Gillard may be struggling to find the one in five people who think that she is doing a good job, Coalition pollsters could throw a rock out the window and hit a dozen people willing to send their vote to the Lib/Nationals, with Newspoll showing that the Coalition has a crushing 50% primary vote. That's right, you read correctly, 50%! At this rate the government would lose in the order of 40 seats and 9 ministers would be joining the unemployment line (like much of the rest of the country thanks to their economic ineptitude...).

With an almost endless list of policy mistake and bringing shame and humiliation on our fine country, all I can say is the sooner we get rid of this rabble the better. Gillard is on the ropes, and even Kevin is more appealing to voters, with 50% of those polled in the latest Newspoll wanting to see a return of the K-Rudd. All that is left is the inevitable decline; stop wasting our time Gillard: Election NOW!

The Joke that is the Left

It is not so much a 'funny, ha-ha' kind of joke, more a sad, makes you groan a little kind of joke. I sat down at my computer this morning and, as always, clicked on over to the ABC news website to have a look at what was going on in the world, and I made the fatal mistake of reading one of the opinion pieces. "Only a resurgence of the Left can set this country to rights" was the title; and I chuckled to myself. Another misguided Leftie who thinks that public ownership and welfare handouts will cure all ills, I thought to myself. But no, it was, of course, Bruce Haigh, a man who demonstrates that you can be educated despite being cognitively impaired...

The piece was, to say the least, an embarrassment; how the ABC could run this tripe is beyond my comprehension. Well, actually, no it's not beyond my comprehension. The ABC has long pushed a socialist - almost neo-communist - agenda, with every Left-wind nut job who can string together a few sentences given as much on-line space as they desire. But the issue of the ABC's bias is a completely separate issue, my disagreement at the moment is with the dangerously misguided views that Haigh is pushing...

"My notion of a Left agenda would include the state providing a framework to deliver the greatest good to the greatest number of people, including the empowerment of Aborigines and asylum seekers." Haigh writes, clearly oblivious of the fact that these to populations combined barely represent 2% of Australia's population. This is the heart of the Left's problem; they pursue narrow agendas to the detriment of the whole while under the guise of being inclusive. Why address larger structural problems in the system when you can just give handouts to the 'disadvantaged', all the while taxing the majority of hardworking Australians into poverty? Is that the equality that you are speaking of, Bruce, one where we are all poor and disadvantaged, with no incentive to make a better life for ourselves? Speaking of self-determination...

"There is no Left in Australian politics or discourse at the moment. There is just the Centre, now seen as the Left by the Radical Right, as The Right stretches away to glorious infinity – a Nirvana of free markets, the centrality of self, supported by uncontrolled vitriol and uncurbed aggression." Yes, self-determination is a terrible thing. It allows people to make a life for themselves, to choose their job, their home, their government. How horrid! How beastly to think that we should have the right to determine our own fate and, more importantly, be responsible for that fate! Self-determination is more than just choosing your own destiny, but being responsible for it! I direct your attention to the UK riots, the result of over a decade of misguided Leftist social agenda whereby the state is responsible for everything and individuals are free to run amok! This is how you want it, isn't it Bruce? No one need take any responsibility for their actions, just run free and be sure to collect your welfare payments at the end of the week...

"The imagination, creative drive, courage and egalitarian agenda of the Left has been sadly lacking from the national narrative for the last 20 years" I'm sorry, but I just laugh every time I read that quote... What utter nonsense! I don't know what you smoked during the 60's Bruce, but it has seriously damaged your ability to differentiate reality from fantasy...

There is a counter to all of the arguments which Bruce puts forward, an argument which illustrates undeniably that the Left has failed and will only destroy all that we have worked so hard to achieve: The Greens... Need I say any more?

The end of the week... and Gillard?

What a brilliant, wonderful, fantastic week we are having! It is entirely possible that, by this time next week, we will not only have a new PM, but a new election! There have been a lot of stories buzzing about this week, from the bullying tactics used by the PM to silence News Ltd, through to the High Court placing the final nail into the coffin of the much maligned 'Malaysian Solution'. But all of these failures that are coming to light are symptomatic of a far larger, underlying problem facing the government. No, it's not refugees, the plethora of new taxes, or Craig Thomson, it is Gillard herself; she has now become the physical embodiment of all of Labor's failures. The rot has well and truly set in, and there is no way back. For the ALP, moving forward now means moving to the Opposition benches... and getting comfortable because they are going to be there for a while...

So where did it all go wrong? Where did the wheels start to fall off the bright, shiny resurrected Labor sports car that was the Kevin07 racer? Well, first of all, the driver was none too great to start with. The messages were good and the promises even better, but it was all a smoke and mirrors show. Soon, the public got over the K-Rudd love haze and saw his government for what it really was: all spin and no substance. The mistake Labor made was they thought that changing the leader would help; but that is not the case if you do not address the underlying fundamentals which lead to that leader's downfall. No matter how many times you change the salesman, if the product is the same you will get the same results. Simple.

Gillard was, of course, greeted with much fanfare as the nation's first female Prime Minister. However voters didn't appreciate how she got the job and the role the 'Faceless Men' played in organising Rudd's assassination and her ascendancy. Backroom deals and shady 'mates helping mates' scenarios don't sit well with Australians, and the simple fact was that we were dissatisfied with Rudd and wanted our opportunity to tell him what we thought of him at the ballot box. An opportunity we were robbed of. Despite the initial rebound offered by Gillard's promotion, it didn't last long. Her first big public mistake was the dreadful "Moving Forward" speech which clearly showed that the spin doctors were still the ones who were really in charge of the Prime Minister's office.

The election allowed the Coalition to claw back more ground than any of us had hoped for just six months earlier, but it wasn't enough. By giving everything to the Greens, including her soul, Gillard maintained a grip on power, all be it a weak one. Since then it has been nothing but screw-ups and back flips, and we, the people, are getting pretty darn sick of it. It has gotten to the point where every week there is a new back flip, policy reversal/mess-up, or outright lie, and it has to stop. If the ALP waits any longer it will destroy their brand completely. The simple fact is that Gillard and this incompetent government must go, now!

Now that I have got that off my chest, and have made my psychic prediction (Gillard & Co. out of office by month's end) I will get back to the main Friday agenda. Two weeks ago we were chatting about the issue of 'coal seam mining' or 'fracking' and I wanted to know what everyone thought about the issue of big miners being able to enter and survey private farm land without the owner's permission. To my mind it was a gross violation of property rights that shouldn't stand in our beloved nation. Well, the Right Side Poll results are in, and it looks like you agree with me unreservedly: 100% of readers voted that of course farmers should be able to coal seam exploration on their land. This week, I would like your thoughts on who will next lead the ALP once Gillard is knifed? Do Labor move forward by going back to Rudd, or should the Faceless Men chose a new face for 'leader'? Let me know... or join the discussion on our new Facebook page!

As always I like to sign off on Fridays with something a little light and funny. After all, a week's full of political discussion and debate can be quite heavy, and Friday is always the time for a little mischief and fun! I thought this clip would be particularly relevant given that some have accused me of hyperbole when discussing Labour's failures...

I wish you all a happy and safe weekend and I look forward to seeing you all back here again next week. Be sure to vote on this week's Right Side Poll and check us out on Facebook. Now get out of here and have some fun, you crazy Conservatives!